So Friends...

Dear Acquaintance,

We speak casually, once in a while, meeting here and there. I miss you, it has been a long time since we have seen each other. I miss being around someone that loves me, and I love them in return. It may be silly, or childish, but I truly do miss you.

However, it seems to be of the utmost importance that patience is utilized in these situations. I truly do believe we need time apart, we were having the most strange relationship arise. I did not want that. I want to be special to you, I want to be important, and I don't just want to be another number. I can't hold out any longer, this is the only option. I must, and I reitterate, must stave myself from you. Your power over me has become too strong, and this is the only way to save myself from being hurt by you. We must digress, but truly, remember that it is for the greater good.

I wish I could say, or hell, even write all of the little things that I began to fall in love with. But honestly, I cannot tell you these things, for writing them would only make it that much more difficult to stay away. And so I chase these thoughts from my mind, but know that I was thinking of them, which is why we have to refrain from each other.

I don't want to place as much importance on you as I was. You were casually going along, and I was as well: until a point. I must impress upon you again that the reason I feel this way is because I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to begin dreading me. I always want to be friendly with you, and always have the relationship we have, regardless. We have something special, some kind of connection that I cannot characterize by words. But somehow, I believe it may have something to do with the word: pirate.

I fell in love with you a long time ago. I can name the time, place, and setting. I have had to hold myself back for a long time. And when I couldn't do it anymore, I realized that it was a mistake. So forgive me for that, if you can, friend. That kind of pressure isn't fair.

Why am I telling you this? So you can be less confused. Unfortunately, if this happens to make you even more confused, I can only refer you back to the paragraph above. Call if you like.

Christine

So yesterday...

So. Feeling a little down right now, but I won't dwell on it too much. Feeling a little...out of place? Not at home? Missing ordinary life? Yes, my feelings are bittersweet, as I wish I could be home right now, back to last summer, or back to two summers ago, when my feelings were confident, my hopes beyond high, and my future secured for the next two years. Isn't that a great feeling? When you know exactly where you are going to be, for how long, and with whom. I am missing that secure feeling Silly, stupid girl, what are you doing? Why are you so down on everything? Yesterday was a fantastic day, and I came here originally to blog about that, so let's get to it, reader.

I was super excited when I was able to help out at my company's photoshoot. Styling beautiful six foot models and helping them get dressed, working alongside my boss. Not just any boss, but my boss boss. This was huge. I believe I made a good impression on her, so hopefully she will remember me later. It was an extrodinary, exceptional day, and I am forever going to keep that happiness in my heart. I was high off of what I was doing: pulling scarves and jewels dripping off necklaces off models and putting them in gorgeous pleated gowns and jumpsuits, made of organza and chiffon. I felt reassured as to why I came out to work here in the first place for the first time in weeks. It's embarrassing to admitt, but honestly, I regretted my decision at first. My expectations were shot down, and I felt I missed my calling. But now, I'm feeling more at home, more preoccupied, and determined now more than ever to work my heart out. I am going to be something, and not let these menial things get my down anymore. There are so many people out there trying to bring you down, but I won't let anyone do that to me, I am much too much worth it. For the first time, in such a long, long, long time: I feel happy single. I feel happy to be appreciating myself again.

I would like to take the time to recommend the book: "Why Men Marry Bitches." Read it. Enjoy it.

I want to meet somebody, I want to live. I want to be a part of something bigger.

Best Day in Life EVER

So. Today just happened to be the best day in my life thus far. I am actually beyond sleep at this point, I am so completely exhausted from working nearly a 12 hours work day, but it was so so worth it! But I must sleep, so please let me go and do that, and I will divulge all the juicy info after I awake.

<3 you my fashionable followers!