June 24, 2009

So yesterday...

So. Feeling a little down right now, but I won't dwell on it too much. Feeling a little...out of place? Not at home? Missing ordinary life? Yes, my feelings are bittersweet, as I wish I could be home right now, back to last summer, or back to two summers ago, when my feelings were confident, my hopes beyond high, and my future secured for the next two years. Isn't that a great feeling? When you know exactly where you are going to be, for how long, and with whom. I am missing that secure feeling Silly, stupid girl, what are you doing? Why are you so down on everything? Yesterday was a fantastic day, and I came here originally to blog about that, so let's get to it, reader.

I was super excited when I was able to help out at my company's photoshoot. Styling beautiful six foot models and helping them get dressed, working alongside my boss. Not just any boss, but my boss boss. This was huge. I believe I made a good impression on her, so hopefully she will remember me later. It was an extrodinary, exceptional day, and I am forever going to keep that happiness in my heart. I was high off of what I was doing: pulling scarves and jewels dripping off necklaces off models and putting them in gorgeous pleated gowns and jumpsuits, made of organza and chiffon. I felt reassured as to why I came out to work here in the first place for the first time in weeks. It's embarrassing to admitt, but honestly, I regretted my decision at first. My expectations were shot down, and I felt I missed my calling. But now, I'm feeling more at home, more preoccupied, and determined now more than ever to work my heart out. I am going to be something, and not let these menial things get my down anymore. There are so many people out there trying to bring you down, but I won't let anyone do that to me, I am much too much worth it. For the first time, in such a long, long, long time: I feel happy single. I feel happy to be appreciating myself again.

I would like to take the time to recommend the book: "Why Men Marry Bitches." Read it. Enjoy it.

I want to meet somebody, I want to live. I want to be a part of something bigger.

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